Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
