I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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