but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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