it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Your cock deserves a montage
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
