we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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