I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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