But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
