I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
