he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Randomize
