I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
