I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
is wine microwaveable?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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