butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
