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I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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