Do vagina's smell?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
