i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
