whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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