I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
