Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I can't put those talents on a resume
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
