Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
