She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Fuck appropriateness.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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