thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I wear drunk well.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
