sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
40s are totally the cure
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
