We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
