his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize