Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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