Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
