i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
