I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
