that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
