It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
