It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
