There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
