Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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