people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
