Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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