Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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