I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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