Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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