Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
They took my balls.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
