I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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