I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
