like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize