alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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