i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
