Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The air was thick with penises
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
