After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
it's like heaven, but drunker
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
