about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
