Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
