Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
