There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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