I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Alive.
So much puke
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
