Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
