so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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