We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
