no, he came in my armpit
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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