DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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