I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
