Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
