he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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