babies were throwing up all over the place
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
