Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
