I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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