I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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