Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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