She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
