just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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